SILENT LOVE: KISS HIM NOT ME FANFICTION
by MeltAway99
Summary: Hinamori Sakura, a 3rd year high school girl, who considers herself as one of those people who are extremely average. With a different perspective from other and having a weird conviction, Sakura kept living with no care of the world, thinking that her her life has no meaning at all. But what if despite her strong conviction, she still changes, and only because of one person.
1. Chapter 0: Her First Love

" **SILENT LOVE: KISS HIM NOT ME FAN FICTION** **"**

 **Chapter 0: HER FIRST LOVE**

The world is full of amazing things, wonderful people and places. _I_ knew that. Ever since young I was always broad-minded and constantly thought of life.

I believe that every person is the main character in its own story. And in every untold story lies the obstacles he/she will face. Life is life when you keep living each day to its fullest.

But for me, life is nothing but thoughts that occupies my mind most of the time. Indeed, I am tolerant in varied ways and thought great lengths in life but never have I really given importance to my life.

Yes, I admit that I lack a bit of emotions and I may also be called emotionless.

And just like a doll, I remain lifeless despite being alive. If I were to play a role in movies, I am one those people who just walks and lives as a background in the main story, with no dialogue whatsoever and at times, drawn as a faceless bystander in comics. Each day, I keep living and kept moving forward with an empty heart.

That is who I am.

Sorry for the late introduction, my name is Hinamori Sakura. A normal 3rd year high school student. I have average height, average sizes, average looks- I wear glasses and I tie my hair into two braided tails. But I'm not the type of girl who when takes off its glasses turns into a beauty nor am I the type of girl who when its hair is let down makes her change into a complete different person. Even If I wear make-up or wear glamorous dresses, I don't change. I'm one of those people who are _extremely average_.

I do not have many desires nor do I have many dislikes. I have no ambition nor do I care if I end up into a worthless person in the future. Even though I look like a perfect nerd, I'm not smart. I am mostly quiet. And of course, I don't think much of befriending others so in high school I ended up becoming a loner. Not that I mind. Ever since a kid, I have never experienced anything that made me emotional, like friends and _love_. I don't blame my average looks for this because there are people in this world that are like me but the difference between them and I is that, no matter how ugly, fat or average they look like there are still people who will come to love them. But I'm not like them. Something like love never came to me. However, I do not have any plans to find love myself.

My quote is _**"Just Keep Living."**_ My life is extremely average and is considered as very boring.

But what if my thoughts suddenly changes? Despite my strong conviction to the way I live. I didn't know- I never hoped that there was still a way to change who I was.

 _And just because of one person-_

" **Hinamori-san"**

 _Speak of the devil…_

Tall, lanky figure with broad shoulders stood close to me. His straight, shaggy brown hair and slanted light brown eyes captivated me. Wearing a red tie, sweater and black slacks, he softly smiles at me with a calm expression.

"Cleaning Duty? Where are the others?"

Ah. Such soft and gentle voice-

Oi! Sakura! Snap out of it! You stared at him too much. Ugh. His staring at me, he probably thought I was weird. I looked away from him and continued to clean the chalk board.

"They left," I said stoically.

Today, was my duty in cleaning. I had other companions too but they all left and made me all do the cleaning. This is considered as bully, though I don't really care. In movies, after-school duty serves to get a single character alone, away from their peers and teacher supervision. This could be a set-up for romantic meeting between the female and male leads. And right now that is the same thing that's happening to me. All alone with this guy, this might be a chance, but... unfortunately I'm not a female lead.

"I'll help you, what else is there left to do?" He kindly asked.

' _He was still there?'_ I thought. He is truly kind, his voice and smile makes me feel like its melting my heart. I know he was someone out of my reach. That his heart belongs to someone else and that his female lead is someone else. My feelings for him… I know it's hopeless.

"….Nothing. You don't have to help. I'm almost done and also don't you have somewhere to go," _to that person_.

"I see. Thank you. Then, I'm going. See you tomorrow, Hinamori-san!" He said softly, as he slowly left the classroom. Sadly, I could only stare at his retreating figure.

Mutsumi Asuma, a classmate of mine since 1st year high school, a handsome and kind boy. The person who changed me.

 _ **My First Love**_.

I know not all first love get requited in the end. But even so, I don't regret falling in love with him. He, who saved me from loneliness. And made me realize the importance of life, the excitement and happiness in living.

They're might be a lot of 'buts'. However, this undeniably clumsy experience I felt will forever be carved in my memories and heart. This is the story of my _**Silent first love**_.

 **END OF CHAPTER 0: HER FIRST LOVE**

 **NEXT CHAPTER: A NEW BEGINNING.**

 **Author Note: This is actually my first anime fanfiction in this website. Again, my name is Sheeyona Keehl. I'm 15 years old. I'm an amateur in writing stories. And I'm aware of my lack in writings. There might be a lot of grammatical errors, and I'm sorry for that but I hope to improve in the near future. This is a Fan Fiction of the anime series** _ **"KISS HIM NOT ME"**_ **or in Japanese** _ **"WATASHI GA MOTETE DOUSUNDA"**_ **. The male lead is Mutsumi Asuma, this is a fan-made backstory in the original plot. Anyways, thank you so much readers for reading this story of mine. I hope you support the upcoming chapters! That is all, bye see you next chap!**


	2. Chapter 1: A New Beginning

" **SILENT LOVE: KISS HIM NOT ME FANFICTION"**

 **Chapter 1: A NEW BEGINNING**

 _Spring._

April, the start of the school year. It's the season of new meetings, activities and liveliness.

A new challenge for me. Pleased to meet you, my name is **Hinamori Sakura**. From this day onward, I'm a high school student.

Cherry blossoms are in full bloom, the petals falling from trees looking like snow falling, it is truly a magnificent view. It is a new beginning for a _love life_!

Nah. Just kidding. Love life, I'm not interested to it not even one bit. I don't hope anything from this day onward. Challenges? I don't really care about it. I'll just _keep living_. I know that nothing will change from before. And I'm not hoping for it to change.

And just as I expected.

The next few weeks. Nothing changed. People concluded me as best at being a loner and left me alone. My school life never changed. I am still an _extremely average_ person.

Today, just like my daily routine. I will be taking my lunch out _alone_.

"Hey, Hinamori-san, is always alone isn't she?"

I heard my classmate whisper to another classmate of mine. I don't know their names and I don't even care.

"Good thing, she can bear it," The other girl said sarcastically.

I can hear you girls out loud, you know. I ignored them all and continued to go to my destination. The _school garden_.

I opened my lunch box. Even though, I think of myself as a living doll. I get hungry, well, I am still _human_.

Ah. Life is sure a boring thing.

Now, I remembered something. There was this one time when I wondered what death felt like. Probably, I was grade 2 when I tried Parasuicide. I cut a deep wound on my forearm. That time. I only stared at it as it bleed until I lost conscious. Well, don't worry, the one talking to you right now isn't a ghost. My mother soon found me and took me to the hospital. There was a hospital near our neighborhood. So, I was saved in time. Just in case, I'm not a psycho. I'm not a yandere nor am I suicidal. Things likes that just happens sometimes in life.

After I was done eating. There was still time left before classes start so I went to the rooftop for a breath take. And as soon, as I reached the rooftop. The beautiful view I was expecting to see was gone. And it all changes into a tragic movie or something.

In front of me was a guy… planning to jump off the building, he shook terribly and tears were streaming down his face like waterfall. He sure looks like in pain.

"Ah. Is this what they call a suicidal moment? My, I'm sorry for the dist-"

"Y-You!? You're planning to stop me, are you?! It's too late! I won't stop. This is the day I die! I can't take it anymore. Life is too cruel!" He cried out.

"No, you're wro-"

" **YAMADA-SAN!"**

A familiar boy suddenly burst out the door as he hurriedly went near this _'yamada-guy'_.

"MUTSUMI?! DO-DON'T COME NEAR ME! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! LIVING IS MORE HELLISH THAN DEATH!" _Yamada-guy_ said.

' _I don't know about that. I think life and death is just the same'_ I thought.

Wait. _Mutsumi?_ Isn't that the handsome popular nice guy in our class? His always calm and looked very soft almost like a gi-

" **BAKAYARO!** Don't think like that! Are you going to leave your family alone, just because of one stupid problem?!" Mutsumi rebuked loudly. Wow, this is actually my first time seeing him angry.

"Y-You're r-right.. I—I wh-what was I about—" The guy halted from his action and looked like he came to realize his actions.

What the hell… I feel like I'm watching a dramatic movie. Well, I better leave before it turns more troublesome.

"Here, take my hand, Yamada-san!" Mustumi-san said, reaching out his hand, as he smiled softly at the guy.

The Yamada-guy smiled with tears still streaming down his face.

Well, looks like it's all over. I turned around and started to leave the both. _I better get go_ -

" **AHHH!"**

" **YAMADA-SAN!"**

 _What's with that dreadful scream?…. Don't tell me…_

I reluctantly looked back.

I knew it.

Looks like Yamada-san slipped down. Oh he's not dead yet, Mutsumi-san is holding his hand tightly and he look like he's having a hard time.

"Don't let go, Yamada-san!" Mutsumi-san groaned as he tried pulling Yamada-san up.

I felt the urge to roll my eyes heavenward. So, should I still leave? *sighs* Well, whatever.

Suddenly, my feet moved on its own.

And I run toward them and hugged Mutsumi-san in the back….. Well, It's now or never Yamada-guy.

After a lot of tug of war with Yamada-san's weight. We were finally able to pull up Yamada-san, and unfortunately as I expected, I was the first one to fall on the ground.

 _Ouch!_ That hurts. And their heavy! I may be emotionless but I still feel physical pain. I'm _human_ after all! Mutsumi-san quickly stood up, he reached out his hand toward… well, not me. It's Yamada-guy.

"Mutsumi. Really, thank you. I don't know how to repay you…. I—I'm such a loser, damn it!" Yamada-san said remorsefully, as he took Mutsumi-san's hand. But as soon as he stood up, he was suddenly punched by Mutsumi-san.

 _Well… what can I say…_

"Wha-?! Mutsumi?! Why-"

"If you want to repay me then promise me…. Don't ever think of doing this again, baka," Mutsumi smiled, as Yamada-san cried again.

Yet again, I feel like I was watching a movie… The genre is for sure _yaoi_. A Live Action.

"…You don't really have to think too much about it…This kind of thing happens sometimes in life, just keep living and everything will be all well," I suddenly blurted out stoically. I did think it was not my place to say something. And I didn't know what has gotten into me. But… oh well, I don't have to think too much about it.

"She's right, Yamada-san," Mutsumi smiled widely at me as I looked at him with emotionless eyes.

Lot of things happen in just an hour. In my entire life, this is the only lunch break that was different from the others. And also, it was my first time helping someone, if you call that helping. It was an unexpected new experience.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

" **Hinamori-san, what do you want?"**

I looked at him blankly. Then, back to the woman who was waiting patiently for my order, holding a pen and a list pad.

"Milk."

"O-Ok, one milk and yours, sir?" She asked, blushing slightly, to the handsome guy sitting at the other side of table.

"Coffee, please," He said politely with his calm smile.

"Ok, please wait for a moment, ma'am and sir," The waitress said as she left. I turned to stare outside the window glass. People walked down the streets while holding umbrellas, the rain slowly got even stronger.

"Here's your coffee and milk, sir and ma'am," The waitress placed our order to our table and slowly left. I also don't know why… but I can't seem to start a conversion, not that I have ever tried one. Well, he doesn't seem to mind the silence. So, I'll just keep quiet.

"Hinamori-san…"

I faced him stoically.

"Your milk, it will go cold if you don't drink it," He sipped his coffee then smiled sweetly yet again at me.

Mutsumi Asuma, the mister nice guy in our class. He is both popular at girls and boys. And I wonder…. Why a popular nice guy like him is with me, the loner girl in school.

[FLASH BACK]

 _A LITTE WHILE AGO…_

After that incident during lunch, I went back to class without the guys' knowing. I quietly sat down at my chair as I stared at the cloudy sky outside the window. It looked like it was about to rain. But I didn't like the idea because I haven't brought an umbrella today. Suddenly, the after school bell rang indicating that classes were over.

I was the first one to leave the classroom, not having anyone to talk to. I rushed toward the school locker. And as soon as I was able to put on my shoes.

Suddenly, rain started to pour. I sighed in disappointment.

It seems like I need to run back home under the rain. I'm so getting soaked. Well, whatever. I took a step forward but suddenly a hand firmly took hold of my arm, making me stop.

I slowly turned around, facing the guy I least expected to call out on me. He looked as if he run after someone, panting so slightly, but that was impossible. He wasn't probably chasing me, right?

"Yo-You're going to get wet," He warned, as he slowly let go of my arm.

"Why does it matter to you?" I couldn't help but blurt out rather harshly.

"Would you like to drink coffee with me?"

What is this guy saying? ...

"It's on me," He offered kindly. And with no interest, I just turned my back on him. But before I could even get myself drenched. My eyes widened slightly in surprise, as he suddenly thrown his school coat over my head.

Before I could even took off the coat that was blocking my view and covering my head. He suddenly pulled me forward, forcing me to run to who-knows-where under the heavy rain.

"W-Wait, Mutsumi-san!"

After running for a bit while, we suddenly stopped and took shelter outside a coffee shop. I wasn't that much wet because the coat helped me. But Mutsumi-san who gave his coat to me, was even more soaked.

"Ha… Haahaha" He suddenly laughed softly. I could only stare at him, not knowing how to react. Is this situation supposed to make you laugh?

"We're here, let's go inside, we'll catch a cold If we stay out here too long," He said while staring out the rainy sky with a gentle smile. I suddenly remembered something in my pocket. I reluctantly took out my handkerchief, offering it to Mutsumi-san, who stared at it for a second.

"Take it… _it won't be much of a help though_ …" I offered impassively.

"Thank you, I'll give it back to you tomorrow," He said as he accepted the offer, then gently wiping off on his wet hair and clothes.

I just shrugged and went inside first. Taking a seat near the window glass, leaning my chin to my palm, my elbow placed on the table.

Today… is so different from yesterday and the years before. After chains of events, I somehow ended up on this situation. And until just a while ago, I thought that this kind of situation was impossible and out of my reach. _Having someone call out to me first. Someone smiling at me honestly._ This is the first, to be honest.

I sighed. Well, whatever….

[END OF FLASHBACK]

 _BACK TO PRESENT TIME..._

" _So, what do you want from me, Mutsumi-san? Calling me out of the blue like this,"_

This… I wanted to ask but refrained. The _'me'_ right now just seem to prefer this silence we have right now. And I don't feel like I should be the first one to speak.

" **Thank you,"**

I looked at him blankly, but my mind was super confused. I mean… what have I ever done to gain his gratitude? As far as I can remember, today is my first time speaking to this smiley boy.

"I called you out here… to thank you for what happened back then during lunch," He explained mildly.

I understood what he meant but was still left confused. If that was all… he could have said it straightaway from the start. What was all the long pause for?

"But I haven't done anything," I muttered.

"Not at all, it was because of your help that I was able to rescue Yamada-san," He said sincerely, making me surprised so slightly, "I wanted to thank you back then, but you have already left. Yamada-san also wanted to thank you, your advice waked him up from his mistake."

What have I said? Was it that great? I personally thought it was a lame thing to say at that kind of situation.

But then, Mutsumi-san is truly a kind person.

His the rare type of person, a few in a millions, a diamond in the dust, a perfect innocent and nice guy. A person who was a complete opposite of me. In contrast of me, who was just a background character, he seemed like the outstanding super star of a movie.

"… Why… Why were you so desperate to save Yamada-san? Are you close friends with him?" Even I was surprise of myself for suddenly asking this question.

"Well, I don't think you can call us friends… we're more like… ummm…" He answered looking like in deep thought. But his answer made me feel suspicious of what kind of relationship he has with Yamada-guy.

"You… Do you perhaps… like Yamada-guy?" I looked at him with suspicious eyes.

"Yes. I do like him," Mutsumi-san said straightforwardly, making me mentally shock.

… _. I…. who knew…._

" **But I also like you, Hinamori-san,"**

 _Eh? ..._

 _What did he just say? ..._

My eyes widened, as I tried to process in my mind what he just said.

 _And faintly… for a second… I felt my emotion waver at his words._

"And I also like my friends! Yama-sensei! And our classmates at school!" He added, with such a gentle smile.

' _Such UNIVERSAL LOVE!'_

I mentally anime-fell, "Th-Then what kind of relationship do you have with Yamada-san?" I asked with a dead pan tone.

"Yamada-san is a friend of my friend, we once met before when I went out with my friends. So I'd say we're just acquaintance. But after today, I think I can say we're friends," He explained.

"I-I see," What am I getting so worked up in? This is so not me.

But then…. If he were just an acquaintance, why did he have to go all that way just to save him? How could he make such a determined face for someone who wasn't really important?

"Then why did you go all the trouble just to save him?" Again, I didn't expect myself to mutter that out loud.

"Is it even necessary to ask? Of course, I'd save him. After hearing that Yamada-san was depressed this days from my friend. I went to his classroom, but he wasn't there. Suddenly, I had this feeling he was at the rooftop. And after realizing his action, I felt that I should stop him. I mean, everyone would do the same If they do see someone trying to kill himself in front of them, wouldn't they?" I felt honesty to his words.

But those _everyone_ that Mutsumi-san was referring to, I wasn't a part of it. Unlike him, I didn't care and I wasn't wavered at all when I saw Yamada-san crying and planning to jump off. I didn't feel like it wasn't my place to stop him.

Just like my actions, my heart is empty and like a stone, it doesn't waver at all.

"If you also lost your way, I will definitely come to save you from darkness, Hinamori-san," He smiled gently with sincere eyes.

And I could only stare at him stoically.

"Ah. Looks like the rain stopped. It's getting late. Let us go home."

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Yawning, I walked drowsily toward the living room, with my bean-pattern pajama still on.

" **Today's Mornin' Horoscope! Rejoice! Those who's zodiac sign are Pisces. Today is your lucky day! You will experience a lot of new experiences. You will meet a person who will lead you to a NEW BEGINNNING to your life! Your unlucky item for today is any pink colored materials. And your lucky item for today is a handkerchief!"**

I sat down on the chair, as I slowly ate my breakfast.

Now that I think about it… My zodiac sign is Pisces…

I yawned again. Well, I never actually believe in horoscopes.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

The distance between school and home was a walking distance, since both are in the same neighborhood. And also I'm not an expert in riding a bicycle, so usually I walk toward school.

As I walked, I stared at the clear sky and the clouds that looked like cotton candy. The world is indeed so beautiful. I wonder what it would feel like If I had wings.

I would spread my wings out and soar to the sky. Feeling so free, with no worries, I will live my life being carried by the wind.

The idea fascinates me but I do not desire for it to come true. I only wonder.

Suddenly, a certain words of a certain person reminded me.

" _ **If you also lost your way, I will definitely come to save you from darkness, Hinamori-san."**_

Am I lost? Do I need help? Am I on the darkness?

Of course not. I am alive because I stay who I am.

But yesterday, I have experienced something different from usual. To think, I spoke with a classmate for almost an hour. It was a first.

The school gate came into view.

 _An unknown emotion, feeling and experience._

 _Coming across a NEW EXPERIENCE…_

"Hinamori-san!"

I looked sideway to the person who called out to my name. And that person was none other than Mutsumi Asuma.

 _Leading me, a person who will open my eyes…._

"Here," He gave me back my pink handkerchief, "Again, thank you for this, just as I said yesterday I'm giving it back to you," He smiled genuinely.

"Mutsumi! Over here!" Another classmate of ours called him. Mutsumi-san waved at me before going straight to his friends.

My eyes sparkled faintly at the thought.

' _ **A NEW BEGINNING'**_

A pink-colored material… a handkerchief…

"Hey, Mornin' Horoscope, Is this item supposed to make me unlucky or lucky, which?"

 **END OF CHAPTER 1: A NEW BEGINNING**

 **STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER.**

 **Author Note: Sorry guys for the long wait. And also for the wrong grammars in the chapter. This book is a path for me to improve my English Grammar. It actually took me half a day to finish the half of this chapter. Hehe, though some others might thought this chapter is incompetent and boring. For me, I have enjoyed it. And that is what is important. I hope some of you will come to enjoy it too. Then, that is all for now, bye see you next chap!**


End file.
